On Tuesday, Rick Santorum came in first in three state races for the Republican presidential nomination, adding momentum to his dark horse campaign and stymieing the efforts of presumed frontrunner Mitt Romney to wrap up the campaign. So far, voters haven’t settled on a favorite, and a few columnists have even suggested that a new candidate might jump into the race and shake things up. What would happen if Game of Thrones characters were to enter?
Tywin Lannister showing voters that he's a Regular American Joe who likes Regular American Joe activities
Ned Stark
Republicans would be fond of his ideological consistency, and policy of having his children watch executions from the age of ten. They would reject him, however, upon the revelation that he spent taxpayer dollars listening to the pleas of poor peasants, when he could have instead reduced the capital gains tax.
Robert Baratheon
He does rate highly on the question of “Which candidate would you most like to have a beer with?”, but even in a race that included Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain, Robert Baratheon’s infidelity is a bit much for voters.
Daenerys Targaryen
Although Dany claims to have been born in Westeros, her campaign would be plagued with accusations about her Eastern upbringing, and demands that she reveal her long form birth certificate.
Tywin Lannister
Tywin would win plaudits for his record as a Job Creator (in the raping and pillaging sector), but would eventually fail to win the nomination when he is outspent on advertising by the slightly richer Mitt Romney.
Tyrion Lannister
Numerous studies have shown that taller candidates tend to do the best in races. However, the “Legalize prostitution” section of his campaign platform would sap a certain amount of support from Ron Paul.
Renly Baratheon
After an initial surge due to his advocacy of preemptive military strikes, Renly’s campaign would sink upon the shocking revelation that he doesn’t like hunting. No one would notice his good friend Loras Tyrell.
Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish
Littlefinger would not run for the nomination, but only take a job as a campaign manager and then a post in the cabinet. In 2024, Dictator-For-Life Baelish would be sworn in.
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